Lifetime Choices
by Enjoi88
Summary: AU Story. 26 yr Olivia finds herself at a crossroad. What are her choices and how does she choose. Not so great summary but Olivia and Jake face hard choices. M Rating for future chapters. Endgame Olake
1. Chapter 1

It's been so long since she'd seen him. Almost 2 months, 7 weeks and 4 days to be exact since she last saw him and she planned to rock his world for the two nights he'll be around. She'd taken the day off from her sales account manager job to get a spa day. She was going to be on point tonight, Olivia turned the shower off and stepped into her bedroom with a towel round her chest and another round her head. After selecting a playlist on her phone and setting on the docking station she started getting ready. She dried herself and got his favourite scent, Marc Jacobs body lotion and applied it. He always said she smelt roses and vanilla, soft warm and inviting, his words. She smiled at that thought.

She got her robe on and started on her hair. He loved it wavy and loose, it took her a while but she got it wavy and side swept revealing her long neck. She imagined him running his hands through it, she felt herself start getting excited at that thought so she clamped her legs together and changed her thoughts, smiling.

The La Perla lingerie, her pièce de résistance, with the right amount of lace mesh to tease a man to distraction. Popped on her mother teardrop earrings, her Donna Karen white spiral draped dress with its sculpted look does not need any more jewellery. She looked in the mirror and she knew she was knocking it out of the park tonight. Smokey eye, defined eyelashes, the dress that will make him want to peel her and discover what's hidden. All that's left is her 4-inch peep toes shoes and her bag. As she picked up her phone she saw the missed calls, multiple from Abby and Alexia. She knew what they were going to say and she was not interested in listening to that tonight. Last look in the mirror- check, keys to the apartment - check, wallet – check and clutch bag – check.

"Good to go" she thought

15 minutes later she was at the exclusive hotel approaching reception for the key card. There was always one in her name at every hotel, she doesn't know why she keeps the key cards but every key card of every hotel she has been in with him was residing in a box in her wardrobe. The suite was just opulent; it always was though.

"Oh my god if Alexia could see this bed, you could fit 6 adults in it".

There was a sitting area, a separate dining area and the bedroom. Her apartment could fit into this space twice. The bathroom was the size of her living room. It was gorgeous and she was happy. She tried to find a seductive pose to be discovered in. Laughing out loud while trying different positions. In the end she settled for sitting on the sofa because of the dress.

30 mins late now…. She ignored the champagne on ice and went to the mini bar for some juice

45 mins late…. pacing in circles

1hr late …. small bottle of scotch in hand, shoes off and she starts dialling.

"Olivia I'm sorry I'm coming straight after I finish here"

"Where are you Fitz" she asks quietly

"Teddy's school play, I'm coming straight after, the jet is on standby."

"YOU ARE IN CALIFORNIA? YOU ARE IN FUCKING CALIFORNIA?"

Fitz' voice drops "I promised him"

"And you couldn't tell me all day. Fuck you Fitz!"

That's how Olivia found herself in the nearest bar to the hotel ordering 3 shots in one go.


	2. Chapter 2

Hi. Thanks for reading this. I've added Olake Endgame to the summary.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Shonda Rhimes

"I hate bars for surveillance. Too noisy and crowded. No clear view available half of the time. And I can't drink" Jake smiles wryly to himself as he corrects himself. "I can't drink **too much** " He wasn't a lightweight and his beers were not exactly going to make him legless. For now, his attention was drawn to the petite woman downing shots at the bar. His target had taken a table and there were no free seats close by him, Friday night crowd! He couldn't loiter next to tables without drawing attention to himself so he has given up on getting any good intel here. He knew the little microphone, that looks like an earpiece which he placed on the bar and pointed towards his mark would only create more problems for him. It will pick up every nearby conversation in the bar and take ages to make out the actual conversation of interest.

He was actually about to leave when he saw her come in and set up at the bar. It was obvious she was out of place there. Everyone else was dressed in business suits and unwinding after a hard day's work or closing a deal with alcohol. She looked like a heavenly vision. White dress, caramel skin and divine red lips, Jake shook his head and mentally scolded himself.

"When did you start waxing lyrical about a woman's look" he thought.

"Heavenly vision indeed" he groaned. He watched her bring her 7th shot to her lips. The red lips parted to touch the shot glass made him wonder how it will feel touching his lips. He groaned again and cleared his throat to cover up the sound. She was looking at her phone every other minute which made him think she had been stood up but this was not exactly a date venue. It was also evident she was not coping with the amount of alcohol she's consumed. Her arms that were resting on the bar were clearly keeping her upright.

The group of men drinking behind him have also noticed her and started challenging each other to pick her up. After they all agreed she was probably drunk, they were getting graphic about what they could get her to do. Soon a bet was placed on the different things they could do to her. When someone offered to take up the challenge he knew he had to do something. He turned off the microphone on the bar and put it in his pocket. He started walking towards her ahead of the Romeo trying to win a bet. He took out his phone and called a number.

"Ethan I'm standing down no clear visual. Can you keep watch on foot and report back tomorrow?" Then he cut off the call without listening to the response.

Jake squeezed in on her right side leaned in and spoke into her ear. "You wanna to buy me a drink?"

Olivia turned towards the voice. She blinked rapidly while trying to process what he said. Unfortunately, her eyes were filled with unshed tears and they rolled down her cheeks. Her lips quivered slightly and he feels something move within him. He wanted to protect her, make her smile again. Olivia knew exactly what she wanted to say but her mouth was not cooperating with her brain.

"Shouldn't I have a mushy brain not mouth when I'm drunk" she thought.

She looked up at him again, cocking her head to one side as she contemplated her answers. It only exposed her neck to him and her glistening red lips are just so inviting. All she would have liked to say was "Why would I" or even "No" but those words didn't come out.

As Romeo from the group approaches, Jake leans in kisses her. Now her head decides to turn mushy and everything feels like a bed of cotton wool. He tastes like beer which she normally hates but his lips are just wow! Jake just intended to give her a quick peck but her lips were parted and he saw her eyes close and so he continued kissing her. Then he sucked on her soft plump bottom lip until her soft moan stopped him.

"Babe when did you get here" he said a little loudly.

Olivia's eyes opened and she was even more confused except she wanted more kisses from him. Maybe because she was already horny or the drinks but she wanted more. He gave her a quick peck and watch Romeo turn around and return to his friends who were laughing and hollering at him. Jake signalled the bartender to pay the bill and helped Olivia off the barstool.

By the time they got outside and the fresh air hit, she got some of her composure back.

"Do I know you"

"I'm Jake. Where are you off to?"

That's when she started crying.

"He didn't show up".

Everything was mainly incoherent but he understood there was an asshole who may or may not be married to Abby or Alexia who she can't call because something is wrong ….. or right. Either way too much drama than what Jake was used to. He wasn't sure what his next move was but he wasn't going to leave her alone on the streets. He pulls her flush against him to free his hands to search her bag. Olivia links her fingers behind his neck. He can feel her nipples through his shirt and groans out loud. He gets her wallet and finds driving licence.

"Olivia" he whispers, trying out her name out. On hearing her name, she hugs him closer and plants wet kisses on his neck. He grunts in sweet agony and makes a decision to take her home, best for her to wake up in her own place. He called a cab and gave them the address on the licence. After helping her into the cab, she turns to him rests her cheek on his chest and hugs him closer. For a second Jake doesn't know what to do, then holds her closer. He can't remember the last time he held another woman this close. She was so petite he could carry her for a whole marathon. And in that moment, breathing her scent in, he could picture lazy Sunday mornings in front of the telly with Olivia curved around him. He felt his member stir at that thought. No hug had ever felt better to him and no kiss more sensual than what Olivia was giving him.

"Hmmmm, I haven't had sex in 2 months" Olivia announces. Jake looks down at her stunned, he can see from the corner of his eyes the cab driver looking back, eyes wide open through the mirror. Olivia on the hand was being soothed by his heart beat. His chest was hard and she wanted to touch it. She drew her hand to his chest and started roaming. She dropped her hand to his waist and she started tugging his shirt out of his trousers so she could feel his skin. Luckily for him, the car pulled up outside her apartment. He paid the fare and the driver winked at him. It took them long to get to her apartment because she kept touching and feeling him all the way. Jake knew he wouldn't take advantage of her but she was making life so difficult. His dick was already hard and he needed her roaming hands to cease and desist. He lifted her up fireman style with his hands just under her butt. He found her door and just about managed to get it open when she started play smacking his ass.

Olivia was aware she was at her home and a strange man was with her but she wasn't scared.

She already knew his name, McKnight. She laughed out while Jake laid her to the sofa. She tried to get pull his shirt out of his trousers.

"Hmmm, McKniiiiight. Come here" pulling him onto her. That's the name she'd coined for him. Her knight in shining armour. He braced his arms on either side of her so he doesn't fully land on her. After a few seconds, she starts crying again.

"I need Abby and Alexia" after she quietens down.

"I can call them for you, let me get your phone"

But she wouldn't let go of his neck. "I can't" she whispers "they hate me"

"Talk to me then, I'm a good listener" he tries to untangle himself but she wouldn't let go.

Olivia is feeling very nauseous and trying to stay as still as possible unluckily Jake wants to see her face lifts himself back up taking her with him. This movement increase the feeling and she pushes Jake off her to rush to the bathroom. Olivia is so embarrassed as he stood there all through it gently massaging her back. Afterwards, wiped her face and gave her a glass of water while she sat on the toilet.

"I'm going to start the shower; towel is by the sink. Call me if you need anything" with that he left.

She got up and stared at her reflection in the mirror. A harsh chuckle escaped her lips. "What a difference a day makes. From Beyoncé a few hours ago to bride of chucky", she laughed this time thinking "maybe not Beyoncé, definitely Ciara with a bomb ass!".

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia stood in the doorway of the living room, watching Jake who was waiting for the coffee maker to finish percolating. His shirt was out of his pants and loose around his physique but there was no denying he was a fit man. His hair looked mussed and a hint of a smile on the corner of his mouth. She wondered what she could do to make him smile at her. He probably was sick of her anyway. Who wants to hang around a drunk who was crying over her married lover? "Enough staring" she thought.

"Didn't you know a watched pot never boils" smiling as she approached the kitchen.

I turn around at the sound of the voice and can't help but gawk at her. She looks so much younger without makeup and her hair has retreated into curls bouncing off her shoulders as she moves. He thought of another saying, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. All thoughts of just helping her settle down after whatever had happened to her were fading fast and now I just want to taste her neck, her lips and her breasts. Unfortunately, Olivia clearing her throat alerts him to the fact that he'd been staring at her body and she can see what he's thinking. He feels his cheeks redden, "shit I don't blush".

"Coffee is ready. Milk, sugar?"

He sees her going to the fridge and adds "I've got the milk out"

"I use honey instead of sugar" and gets the honey out.

His chest tightened as she turns to him with the honey.

"I'll take that, you take a sit on the sofa and I'll bring it over" he needs some distance from her. He starts pouring the coffee out and gets the grilled cheese sandwich out too.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Olivia sat in the far corner of the sofa, her back to him wondering if she has taken leave of her sense to let a strange man in her house. Would a serial killer cook for you before killing you? It's possible if you follow Criminal Minds. There are sick people out there. Maybe she should call Abby that would let him know people are aware he's in the house. So stupid, how's that supposed to stop me from getting killed. But she looks back at him and knows somehow she is not in danger. She picks up her hone nonetheless and sees all the missed calls and texts mainly from Fitz.

 _"Sorry I forgot about the play"_

 _"I'm getting the jet straight to you"_

 _"I'll make it up to you"_

 _"Anything you want I'll do it please stop being upset with me"_

 _"Pick up the phone"_

 _"Pick up the phone"_

 _"PICK UP THE PHONE OLIVIA"_

 _"I'm sorry"_

Abby's text simply said _"I love you always"_

And Alexia had sent one saying _"I trust you"_

And that's when she started silently sobbing.

Jake knew he should have turned the phone off instead of putting it on silent but he didn't think he had the right. He set the coffee mug and plate of grilled cheese sandwiches in front of her on the table and took her hand in his. It was small but fitted perfectly into his.

"Look at me" and when she wouldn't, he touches her chin and gently lifts it up. The tears and pain etched on her face would be the death of him because he'd rather be tortured by the mercenaries of blood diamond region than see Olivia in pain. And they don't torture, they kill in the slowest possible way, that you beg for death.

"You don't know me. I may be a worst guy in the world or I might be the best"

Or a serial killer" she adds with a small laugh.

"Or a serial killer" he repeats. "But whoever I am Olivia, I am here with you and I am a great listener. Talk to me. Whatever I am, you don't have to see me again, talk to me and I'll listen and I'll be your friend tonight. For tonight, I'll be your priest, your counsellor, your punching bag whatever you need".

"Ok? Can you do that? Can you talk to me, I promise to just listen and no judgement? Because whatever happened to you, whoever happened to you already happened, it's done" looking deep into her eyes. "And no serial killing, scout's honour" raising his left hand. I knew I shouldn't look into her eyes but I can't look away. Those brown orbs seem to draw me in to a sea of smooth warm honey. And when a smile starts on her lips, he felt like he'd won the lottery in coaxing from her.

"I'm lost and I'm willing to be lost in Olivia, with Olivia" he thought.

"McKnight, that's the wrong hand. You weren't in the scouts, were you?" His lopsided grin betrays him.

"I'm a navy man. Will that do?"

"Don't be kind to me. I'm a horrible person"

Doesn't matter today. No judging. Even if you are the serial killer, there will be no judging!

Olivia closed her eyes and let his words wash over her and take root. And when it did, the gates opened. She told him of the date that never happened. Of his gorgeous blue eyes and how he made her feel like she was the only woman in the world for him. Fitz could look at her and she knew that without her he couldn't breath and without her in his life he was half the man he was meant to be. That she a junior sales account executive had the CEO of the company wrapped around her finger. But he wasn't really hers. He was a married man who he loved her, needed her. And she had accepted this destiny because it was fate that brought her and Fitz together.

 ** _Flashback_**

The office was buzzing. Not only had the east coast office beat the west coast in bringing in the biggest contract in GMA's – Grant Advertising and Marketing – history, it was done by three of the newest recruits. Harrison, Quinn and Olivia had been offered a permanent position after interning while still in college. Their mentor, Sally Langston, had given them free rein and set them a target to bring in a big fish within 3 months, at least $3 million or she will start micro managing them. Olivia convinced them to focus on a seemingly obscure and small film company who had a by-line in the New York Times as gaining the rights to a teenage vampire fiction book. They had made a pitch ensuring they included the chairman's daughter which earned them a foot in the door. The artistic work of Stephen in the marketing team topped off an interactive proposal for the account.

By the time, Olivia and Quinn got up to present their account management process, he was ready to sign based on them being the key point of contact for the account. It was worth 0.75% of the film's turnover. The news came through that the film had grossed $800m worldwide. And there were 2 more films to be released. Sally was walking on air but the best part was she gave credit to the little team. So today the CEO of GMA was coming from California to meet the group that brought in $6m and a calculated $30m over the next 2 years. Olivia was so excited. This is the cusp of her dream and she might be reaching it at the young age of 25. Meeting the CEO means she can sell her idea for GMA to expand into crisis management for celebrities and she definitely planned to give her proposition to Fitzgerald Grant III.

I was in my office alone while everyone was in the conference room. I needed to gather my thoughts before the meeting. Glancing at the clock on her laptop. 5 more minutes, she gets up and brushes off unseen lint from her pencil skirt. She puts her jacket over her white shirt, picks up her folder and walks out to the conference room. As she passes the elevators, she considers putting her hair in a ponytail. Sometimes it's hard to been taken seriously if you look to young and pulling her hair off her face might make her look much older. Her quick U turn lands her into the solid chest of her CEO. His hands reaches to her waist to steady her and it was like a shot of electricity run through her body. When their eyes met she was so sure time stopped. His hand started moving upwards and she could have sworn that she could hear herself panting. The voice of Harrison calling her name broke the spell and she continued to the room. Everything passed like a blur, she didn't hear the speeches by Sally and Fitzgerald congratulating them. Harrison grabbed her hand and dragged her forward for the handshake. He smiled at her and she must have said something but she wasn't sure what. When he turned up in her office later on that day, she wasn't surprised. And when she turned up at the hotel address in the text the next night, he wasn't surprised.

They didn't make love that night instead they talked and she knew everything about him. He told of his parents, Alice and Big Gerry who have been married for 45 years who have retired and left the family business to him. Big Gerry butts in regularly but never questions his decisions in front of anyone. His father's biggest flaw was that he had been endlessly unfaithful to his mother until old age and illness stopped him and now he spends his time cruising around the Caribbean with his wife. She heard of his college life with a young Fitz living it up in Harvard until his girlfriend got pregnant. They got married, there was no other options. With both their parents help, they finished their studies and he joined his father's corporation to work his way to the top. His three children Fitzgerald IV, Karen and the surprise delivery called Teddy only 5 years old were the joy of his life. His wife Melissa, a high powered lawyer who had married too young but couldn't contemplate separating as their lives as it was so intertwined with children and their social position.

And she told him of her aloof and powerful senator father who appeared to hate her and kept her at arms' length. She stopped going home for the holidays 5 years ago and he never asked her over. Her holidays were always with her friend, Abby if her older sister wasn't around. He gave her a lump sum every 3 months which she stopped touching 3 years ago. Her mother left when she was 12 and never looked back. She recounted all the times she needed a mother's voice and advice none could be heard. She wondered if Maya was actually her stepmother who fled from her cold father because a mother could not really abandon their child, could they? She sometimes dreamt that her real mother died a tragic death and no one was able to tell her.

That night, he whispered into her ear, how he wished he had waited for her to come along instead of taking the easy option. Afterwards they slept soundly till the next morning when she woke her up to the best wakeup call ever.

Fitz's tongue was slowing and thoroughly licking her outer lips. And when his tongue licked along her slit, a soft moan escaped her. She looked down to see his curly head buried between her thighs and as he sucked on her bundle of nerves she closed her eyes and submitted to the feelings. He lapped up all her wetness and when the sensations got too much she try to wriggle away but he held her thighs in place. He fucked her with his tongue, nibbling, sucking and flicking till it all came to a crescendo cascading into his ready and waiting mouth. And when it was over, he took her till she was literally legless. This is what he described as his superpowers. Abby told her she'd been dickmatized!

 ** _Present_**

At this point Jake had to laugh. He'd like to meet Abby but he knew he won't be around that long.

"You said no judging!" she jokingly reprimanded him. His heart warmed to see her smiling more widely.

He raised his hands up in surrender. "I was thinking about your word, dickmatize is not one I've seen in scrabble. That would hit a triple letter score, don't you think? Might not pass a challenge though."

They both laughed.

By now, Olivia's feet were now resting on his laps and he was absentmindedly massaging them. "Anyway, back to my love life".

Fitz usually comes to the east coast office twice a year but his second visit was 8 weeks later and his third 4 weeks later. Since then he came every three weeks and although he wanted her to come to California she never could. She didn't want to end up completely dependent on him. She never gave him the proposal for a celebrity management arm of the business. It was on his third visit that he gave her his grandmother's ring. It was a very old, rare ring. The name of it meant "sweet baby." He was supposed to give it to his wife, but it never felt right.

"I was supposed to give it to you," he said, leaving me in a pool of my own tears.

Olivia didn't want a ring from Fitz. He assured her that she didn't have to love him but as long as she wore that ring, he knew they would be OK. She put it on her bracelet as a charm.

That was nearly 18 months ago. She has argued with Abby who warned her she was getting in over her head and her sister who told her it would all end in pain. Going to them would be like returning with her tail between her legs. He cancelled the last trip because his daughter was leaving for a gap year in Asia. And now he had to attend his son's school play. It just seems I am at the bottom of his list. But that's the life of a mistress I guess.

Olivia waited for Jake to say something but he was comfortable in the silence. She turned unto her side on the sofa and fell asleep shortly after. Jake had had lovers along the way but no one had brought out his protective instincts as much as the lady beside him. And he didn't know how to help her but he vowed to be there for her for the short time that he could. He lifted her feet from his lap and got up. Then he carried her to her bed and settling her in under the covers. She didn't stir at all and he was pleased that she was sleeping soundly. He rummaged round the place till he found some linen and a pillow and set up on the sofa where he fell asleep too.

 ** _Saturday_**

Jake opened his eyes just gone 9am and lay still trying to get his bearing. Looking around Olivia's house, it seemed like a blank canvas waiting for someone to make their mark on it. Just like my condo. I am the original rolling stone, gathering no moss. Even Huck the most anti-social of men, was married with kids. I never even got close, never lived with someone. I always thought I was too much of a loner to tolerate someone in the same house with me. Olivia is chipping away at that defence. While I normally go into work every day of the week, I didn't really need to. For the first time in probably 2 years, I'm not going in to work this weekend. I'm choosing to stay with Olivia if she would have me. Still need a change of clothes and debated whether to wait for Olivia to wake or leave a note. Writing a note won out. Ow! The sofa was comfortable for the most part; but I can feel the rest of the part. I got ready, wrote a note saying I'll be back by 11am and hoped she had no plans for the day.

At 10:30, I was knocking at her door with a small duffel bag.

Inside Olivia hoped it wasn't Abby, she couldn't face that yet. She was so happy to see Jake, she wrapped her arms around him.

"That's a nice welcome. I wasn't sure if I was overstepping the mark by staying."

"I thought you left"

"I left you a note" the sound of a door opening further down the hallway made them realise they were still standing in the doorway. Olivia let him go reluctantly.

"Come in McKnight"

He wouldn't admit it but he liked his nickname. "I left a note on your dresser".

"The dresser is not the first place I got to in the morning" I left to get the note and he watched smooth bare legs disappear into her shorts. This might be a long morning if they don't get out into public.

I come back with the note and I'm excited to know where we are going but he is not budging. I would like to make him breakfast as he's been so good to me but I have nothing of substance in the fridge. So I decide to treat him to breakfast at a diner, which he agrees to. Taking my cue from his style, I opt for a red floral dress with a 3-inch open toe heels. I add some lotion to my hair for some extra bounce as there was no time to straighten it again. I can see he is very appreciative of the way the dress fit around my bust and waist. I'm not looking for something new but it feels good when someone you like, likes you too. Shit, am I back in high school?"

"One more thing. Where is your phone?" I find it and hand it over. It's still on silent and the messages and voicemail have piled up. He turns it off and leaves it on the coffee table. He gets his phone and repeats the same action and they leave.

We get to the local diner and he orders a long list of items I'm not sure how he stays fit. I enjoy the conversation as we talk about nothing and everything, politics, he's a democrat and I'm apolitical. He's well-travelled and I haven't left these shores. Clubbing, he doesn't go at all and I can't stop going. And the silence when it comes is not deafening, I don't feel a need to fill it. He sometimes grabs a hold of my hand and then he looks at every line and crease in my palm as if committing it to memory. The worst is when he places his hands on my thighs. He does this absentminded slow rubbing or massage that concentrates the heat to my centre and a pool of liquid starts forming. I am definitely horny and I don't want to jump my good Samaritan's bones. I ask for the bill so we can get moving.

Once we get out, he hails for a cab to Broadway. We spend the afternoon watching the matinee of the book of Mormon where we both laugh ourselves silly. It was what I needed and afterwards he was taking me grocery shopping. He had to accept that I would pay for the grocery before I agreed to go. Even though I pointed out it was a waste of time as I don't cook he still insisted on going. And now I am the proud owner of cereals. That's the only thing that impressed me in the 6 bags of shopping we brought back home.

"Put on the apron you are my sous chef"

I can do that, limited touching with that. I'm good with that. So I get on my apron but I forget how small my kitchen is. He seems to have different reasons to touch me, He hug me closer so we can look into the pan together or hold my hands from behind to demonstrate a technique. McKnight was too tactile for me. Thank God the creamy chicken and vegetable soup was finished. He warmed some baguette to go with the soup and we sat in front of the tv. I ordered the latest Jason Bourne but I swear he wouldn't stop critiquing everything. From the way he held a gun to the rules of engagement they used.

"McKnight, are you double 0 7"

He shakes his head.

"Secret FBI agent" he shakes his head again smiling slightly. "KGB, CIA any other spy organisation" all gets a shake.

"Then can we watch the stupid film. Does it matter if he holds it upright or sideways? We only need to understand the intent, which is to shoot! Ok with that?"

"Yes but it's still not authentic"

"Thank you I'll take that under advisement, Edgar Hoover"

They both burst out laughing and it feels good for both of them for different reasons. Apart from the fact they are happy to be with each other.

When the film finishes, Jake says there's one last trip that night and he asks me to wear the same dress she wore this afternoon. I can't but I have a wraparound dress that accentuates my best features. I can see his breath hitch as I come into the room. We are lightly flirting but I can sense his melancholy but it is fun in this moment.

We leave and walk for a while hand in hand. I could get used to this. He makes me guess the backstory to some of the people we see. At first all my guesses are mundane like teachers, lawyers and doctors but he has such a great imagination I start to rise to the challenge. And the middle aged couple arguing at the side of the road become mountaineers and the careless husband has lost a tool just before expedition tomorrow. And I have never laughed so much with a man. After a half hour walk, my shoes start to complain so we got a cab the rest of the way. And we arrived at the Empire State Building. I didn't even know it was open this late. Even though I'd lived in New York all my adult life I've never been here.

"McKnight" he turns and look down at me

I look straight into his green eyes, cup both sides of his face and pull him down to me. I am not uncertain and shy when I kiss him. I lay claim to his mouth and if he was shocked I didn't know it because our tongues intertwined and every part of my body seemed to respond to the primal call. My nipples hardened, I could feel the goose bumps on my arms and there was definitely gushing into my underwear. His hands were on my ass, pulling me closer and I could feel his hardness against my belly. I pulled back from him, totally flushed and unsatisfied. I needed to know something.

"Are you married?"

"No"

"Girlfriend or fiancé?"

"No"

"Boyfriend?"

He cocks his head as if to say 'seriously'

"I got to ask"

"No"

I grab a hold of his hand and we walk into the building. The lift is mainly filled with couples and he pulls me closer to him. And I don't hesitate, I go for the cuddle. I know he's not staying. I don't know how I know he's leaving but I'm not overthinking it.

At the observation centre, I can't believe this is the city I've lived in for years. It's beautiful and I don't really recognise it. He pulls me back against him and hugs me closer as we both look around.

He whispers in my ear, "believe me when I say I am a hypocrite but it doesn't make it less true. A wise person once told me perspective is all that matters. And I wanted to show you that you are Olivia Pope the bravest girl I've ever had the opportunity to meet. You are more than an account manager, more than a friend and sister, more than an estranged daughter and more than a mistress. Don't let anyone of those make you less in the rest of your life. See the bigger picture. Hold onto that. Does that make sense?"

It does. There's a lump in my throat and I can't answer so I give him a peck on the cheek. He looks at me and he says

"Olivia Pope, you are loved as you are. Never. Forget. That. You. Are. Loved"

I nod at him and turn around to watch the view, resting my back on him again. And stay like that till he says 'let's go'.

We enter the apartment and I am happy for him to use the bathroom first. He has a quick shower and changes into a t-shirt and boxers. I get off the sofa and go towards the bathroom when he returns to the room but I change my mind half way there and head back. He looks up when he sees me. I can see his eyes begging me not to do this. I'm not listening. I untie my dress and let it fall off my shoulders in a heap on the floor. I'm standing there in a balconette bra with matching thongs.

"Olivia, I'm leaving tomorrow" he pleads with me again.

"I know"

"I can't take advantage of you"

"I am taking advantage of you"

"Jacob. McKnight, please come with me"

And she leads him to her bedroom.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Thanks for reading


	3. Chapter 3

Hi. Thanks for all your messages, constructive criticisms and encouragement. Its been very helpful. I hope you like this one. Warning it is purely smut!

DISCLAIMER - all characters belong to Shonda Rhimes and ABC

Olivia slipped her hand into his and led him towards her bedroom. Jake was getting hard from staring at the round ass in her underwear. He would never have said he was an ass man but he looking at these soft globes swaying in front of him there was nothing he sought more. He stops in his tracks causing her to pull back and stares right into her eyes, trying to see if there is any hesitation or doubt in her mind.

Liv finds it hard to concentrate with his direct stare but she can read exactly what he is thinking. " _When did I become a Jake expert that I know what he's thinking_?" she thought. Looking right back at him she shakes her head.

She couldn't want him any more even if she tried. Seeing his concern for her even though his body is betraying his need, his nose flaring with lust and a tent rising in his boxers yet he is still putting her first makes him ever so desirable. She turns into his arms, his hardness poking her stomach, stands on her tiptoes and lightly kisses him on the lips. "I want you". Kiss. "I want to feel you" she whispers against his mouth kissing him.

Jake kisses her back fervently, he leads her backwards towards the bed never breaking the kiss. His hands roam up and down her back, finally undoing her bra clasp and pulls back from her enough to take it off and drop it to the floor.

"Liv….you are so beautiful" his voice is husky, heavy-laden with lust and awe he doesn't recognise it. He places her on the bed. Liv is breathing heavily, a tender ache spreading between her legs.

"Tell me what you want Liv"

His hands caressing her body leaves her wanting…needing more. She runs her hands over his hard chiselled chest. He is exquisite to touch.

Jake starts a trail of kisses from her neck to her shoulder blade and down her chest. She moans with anticipation of where his kisses are heading to. "Oh god, touch it" she silently urges him. She reaches up and circles his nipples with her finger, maybe he'll take the hint. They respond instantly and harden, she loves that so she licks and gently bites down on one after the other.

Blood surged to his dick and he could feel the veins vibrating.

"Wait!" he groaned not wanting things to finish too quickly. He bows his head and takes a nipple into his wet mouth.

"Oh. My. God! That's my spot." Olivia can't get enough of his wet mouth on her nipples and arched her back to push more into Jake's mouth. There's always seem to be a nerve starting at her nipples and ended in between her legs. She knew she was dripping now. Jake squeezed the other breast while sucking on one. He pushes her gently back into the bed. His right hand reaches down to her knee and strokes it's way back up her thighs. She quivers as he nears her core.

They kiss and he rubs his hands over her underwear, massaging her pussy.

"Ahhhhhh!" She exhales deeply.

"Are you wet for me. Liv"

She nods rapidly.

"Tell me Liv" he whispers in her ear and pushes the material aside and waits for her response.

"Yes it's for you, for you Jake" she hissed.

He rubs a finger along her slit and her breath snags. "Do you like that"

"Oh yes Jake. Please"

"What do you want Liv?" alternating between kissing and tweaking her nipples and stroking her slit. Her mouth shapes into a silent "O" and he smiles at her but she can't see him. Her eyes are shut in pleasure.

He plunges a finger into her, she arches her back again and her moan stretches for what seems like forever. Her hands grasped the back of his head, sinking into his hair.

Lying there, her hair fanned around her face and around the pillow, her eyes are hooded over and her mouth shaped into a silent scream, she looked flawless to him. He wants to see her come undone under him. He wants to give her immeasurable pleasure and that is his mission tonight.

"Liv you are so beautiful, So beautiful". The sound of her wetness and his finger permeates the room.

She is moaning incomprehensibly and when he adds another finger, her hands turn to jelly and drops away from his hair. He could do with her whatever he wants and she wouldn't stop him. Couldn't stop him. He looks at her in awe at her sensuality.

"Perfect!" pumping his fingers in and out keeping a seamless rhythm. His thumb presses and rubs her clit and she shudders. She grips the bedsheet and pulls on it. Her toes curls into the bed and her head is thrown back burrowing deeper into the pillow. He can feel ripples radiating from her centre to the rest of body. He sucks on her breasts as she cums all over his fingers.

Olivia tries to regain her normal breathing pace. She looks at him and see his joy at her release.

"I'm fucked!"

"Not yet Olivia but I intend to" he smiles.

She looks on as he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks all her juices off.

"So sweet!"

She lifts up and kisses what's left on his lips and mouth. She pulls off her thong and takes his boxer off. Her eyes widen at his length and girth.

Jake can see what she's thinking and smiles proudly.

"Tell me to stop and I will"

He leans forward and rubs his dick along her wet and slick slit.

He halts his motions suddenly and asks "Condoms, I don't have any"

"It's okay, I'm on birth control" adding "I always used a condom with…. I always used a condom."

He smiles dryly at her and kisses her. Her tongue meets his and they dance together. Olivia pulls back to get some necessary air and reaches for his dick.

"I want you McKnight" looking into his eyes. "I want to feel you inside me"

She lines up at her entrance and guides him into her. Sensations overcome her and not for the last time she arches her back. Jake closes his eyes, savouring the moment. He feels her relax and he starts pushing in further.

Her eyes widen. "McKnight is it not all in?" her voice rich with sex.

A final thrust and he is in. "Oh god Liv" he declares. He starts moving and Olivia grips his back. She's not sure if she's trying to stop him or encourage him. It feels so intense, he is reaching parts of her that no one has ever reached before. She spread her legs wider and her action makes him sink deeper into her.

He thrusts in and out of her and she feels so stretched. Jake kisses her again and all her senses are assailed by this man. She feels the thudding of his heartbeat, hears his raspy breath which catches for a few second then resumes, sees the beads of sweat forming on his forehead and smells him all around her.

"Oh shit, you feel so good." She raises her hip to meet his thrusts in response. As the heat builds up within her, leading her to the edge of something just beyond her reach, she begins to buck wildly against him matching his moves to reach fulfilment. He can feel her walls clenching against his member and he is getting very close, but he wants her to cum first.

"You are so tight, Liv. You feel so good"

She still can't speak but her nails are drawing a pattern on his back. Every nerve ending in her body seems to pulsate to his presence within her. She had never felt someone overwhelm her completely she feels the dampness of his body, the strength in his hips and the short and sharp breaths he takes in.

He picks up the tempo and when he swivels his hips she screams. Her muscles keep tightening around him and her heels dig into his back drawing him in closer.

She finds her voice again when he thrust into her.

"Babe. Oh god, oh god oooooooooh" and she came all over his dick. He followed right after shooting streams of his essence into her womb. He collapses on her then rolls off to her side.

"Oh wow" he pants.

After a few minutes, she starts chuckling and when she doesn't stop, he leans on his elbow and looks at her, puzzled.

"What?"

"How do you expect me to talk while you are rearranging my internal organs?" she starts laughing again. He joins in the laughter and pulls her close.

Soon after, he gets up to clean himself up and dampens a towel to clean her off too. By the time he returns from the bathroom, she is sprawled naked on her side, softly snoring away. He moves her and cleans between her legs and her centre and discards the towel. Then he gets in behind her and pulls her flush against him. He wasn't new to this but he was never the cuddler. However right now he never needed to feel someone close to him while he slept as he did Olivia.

Just under an hour later, he was roused from his sleep by Olivia teasing his dick. He looked down to see Olivia softly licking the tip, he hardens on that sight alone. Keeping her gaze on him, she gently licked him from base to tip and back again. She takes his balls into his mouth and sucks and then replaces her mouth with her hands massaging him into unspeakable joy at the feel of her hands on him. Her mouth returns to his shaft now covered now covered in precum, a soft lick followed by hard sucking makes Jake draw up his knees. His tip hits the back of her throat and her hands grip the base, he feels completely enveloped by her mouth and hands. He releases a throaty moan and sinks deeper into the bed. He is aware of her lips, the wetness, her tongues and every single touch of hers on him. Its electrifying to feel so out of control yet still submitting to her. Her hand curved around the base as she creates suction in her mouth.

"Liv!" he reaches and grabs her head, his fingers deep into her hair touching her scalp.

Olivia goes back to sucking his balls giving both equal attention.

"I just want to please you" Then she licks her way back up the shaft before sucking the tip into her warm mouth. Jake threw his head back into the bed and starts fucking her mouth. She uses her hand to pump the base in tandem with her mouth sucking his shaft into her mouth.

"Damn Liv. Oh god Liv. Liv! Liv!"

Her mouth felt like paradise and his balls were coming home. He tried to pull out but she holds on to him while bobbing up and down over him.

"I'm going to cum"

"Liv…."

His seed erupts and hits the back of her throat while she sucks him dry. When he had finished, she released him from her mouth with a pop and then licked him clean. He pulled her up to him and kissed her. They lay there for a while in silence.

"I remember the first time I got onto a navy ship" he started in a gravelly voice. I'd wanted to be in the navy since I was 11 years old and finally I made it. It's probably the biggest goal in my life at that time and I'd achieved it. And it met my expectations." He shook his head in almost disbelief. "I was so happy Liv, like my soul was happy." He turns her chin to look up to him, "this weekend my soul has been happy." She smiles broadly, she has been happy too so she kisses him. His tongue quickly invades her mouth till she was so turned on he could feel her wetness dripping onto his side. She breaks the kiss off and positions herself above his manhood engulfing him into her walls. Slowly sinking down his dick till he is fully immersed within her. She pauses to become accustomed to him before rising up and down on his shaft.

Breathing has become difficult for Jake, he sees the passion and yearning in her face and knows he probably has a mirror image of her emotions. He never imagined he could ever connect to another person like this but he does and it was too late to do anything about it. If all he has is tonight, then he would make it a night to remember for him. He holds on to her waist as she rides him until he needs to take over. He switches her to underneath him without breaking their contact.

He pushes in hard and she moans out loud in his head. He feels the familiar muscles clamping down on him. He buries his head in the crook of her neck licking and kissing her skin, her release explodes out of her and he followed right after her.

"You are going to kill me tonight!" he says shakily after sometime. He rolls so that she is on top of him, his hand clearing her hair from her face.

"Next time let me finish what I started" smiling at him. She gets to use the bathroom, each step causing pain between her leg. He grins proudly to himself at her efforts. This time, she returns with a damp towel for him to clean himself. Once done, he lies on his back and she is draped over him. She presses soft kisses into his chest and he strokes her hair. She falls asleep and he continues to hold her close till he falls asleep.

Sunday Morning

That is how the first ray of morning light found them, waking Jake first. He looked at her sleeping form, her face looked so girlish, he beams to himself. He thought of all the ways he could continue with her in his life but it was too complicated. There was Mike and Angelique to consider. It'll be too messy and no one would escape untouched. And there was no telling where Olivia stood. Did they even have something? It felt real to him but …. "Walk away Jake and nobody gets hurt" he warned himself.

Once he accepted that was the best course he proceeded to wake Olivia up by feasting on her breasts. That morning he allowed her to finish what she had started earlier and she rode him into what seemed like oblivion. And it felt like a bittersweet final goodbye. And when she peaked, she clung to him tightly as the reverberations continued to ripple through her for several minutes afterwards while she cried into his chest.

They had a shower together just holding on to each other. Silently touching and kissing their goodbye. Jake got dressed in the living room while Olivia stayed in the bedroom. Tension seemed to be building and both seemed unsure. Olivia could see Jake didn't seem interested in going beyond today. They haven't exchanged numbers or talked about any plans beyond today. It was an odd one-night stand but she didn't regret it. Jake stood leaning against the counter waiting for her to appear and when she did he stared as if to commit that image to his memory permanently.

He closes the gap and holds her close to him and stares into her eyes. Another thing she has learnt about Jake is that she finds his ability to hold a gaze disconcerting.

"Are you gonna be alright"

"What do you think"

"I think you'll be just fine. Definitely more than fine"

She laughed at his confidence because she knew she was definitely more fine in more ways than one.

"And you are definitely not married" thinking it would kill her if he was.

"I promise, no wife, girlfriend or boyfriends"

"Here take this" extending her business card to him. "My personal number is on the back. If you ever find yourself in a bar trying to drink the night away, call me for company."

He took the card and leaned down to give her a peck on the cheek. She wants to cry but refuses to break down in front of him.

"Goodbye Liv"

"See you McKnight" he pauses for a millisecond and leaves shutting the door behind him. Olivia stays rooted to the spot until she hears a knock a few minutes later. She rushes to open it to Jake who takes her mouth to his. She kisses him with everything within her until she hears someone clearing their throats. They pull apart to see 2 pairs of eyes twinkling with curiosity.

"Ummmm, Abby and Alexia, Jake. Jake this is Abby and Alexia"

Very nice to meet you Jake don't stop on our account said Alexia and they both walk past them into the room. Picking a couch with the best view of the front door and the two people still standing there. They don't even hide their interest, gazing directly at them with broad smiles on their faces. Jake smiles back at them and gives Olivia a peck.

"Bye" he whispers to her ear.

She nods, unable to say anything else and closes the door to face the inevitable interrogation.


	4. Chapter 4

Apologies for any editing errors. Reviews are greatly welcomed. I hope you enjoy it. I used some words from the show which obviously belong to Shondaland and ABC. Thanks

As interrogation goes, it was mild compared to what Abby and Alexia normally dish out. There had been an intervention style meeting once before where she nearly cut ties with her sister and best friend. That was until Alexia texted her "Chicks before dicks every time. We always have your back" and she had responded with "Are we teens again? I got yours too". Their relationship had been restored but Fitz had remained a difficult topic for all of them, unfortunately he had allowed this opening and they were taking advantage of it.

Abby was leaning on the other side of the kitchen island, while Alexia had stayed on the sofa sipping her coffee.

"So tell all, leave nothing out" from Abby

"Yes, how did you end up with that delicious morsel"

"No Alexia, he was delectable, tasty and he could fill me up anytime". Even Olivia had to join in the laughter.

"I went drinking in a bar when Fitz cancelled at the last minute and he helped me home"

"What else did he help himself to" Abby said winking exaggeratedly.

"Ok, so he stayed, we had sex then we said goodbye".

"What do you mean goodbye? Is he married? He took advantage of you?" Alexia was getting more worked up as she threw the questions at Olivia.

Olivia raised her hands to stop all the discussion. "Look he is not married but we both agreed it was just one night. Have I ever been taken advantage of?"

She told them of Jakes washing her face after throwing up, putting her to bed and sleeping on the sofa. And how he took her to a show the next day and the Empire Building that night. How natural it felt to sleep with him even though he said he wasn't going to be around.

"I'm glad I did. I don't regret it for one second. Two ships passing in the night or something like that."

Abby could see the depth of her feelings written all over her face, no it wasn't as simple as that. But that wasn't the most important thing.

"So Fitz ditched you and you felt bad enough to go drinking to get drunk by yourself with no one watching for you. How is this even working for you".

"Abby" Alexia warns

Undeterred she continues, "what exactly are you getting out of this relationship? Is it a relationship or a hit and dash?"

"ABBY!" Olivia shouts. "What about what you did with James, stalking him all over town. Did I not support you? Where do you get off judging me?"

"Judging you? Liv get over yourself. Do you know how much shit I have done? You know my secrets and my craziness but you pull me back from the crazy before I fall off the edge. I can't judge you. I am sluttier than you. But I can't watch you go through this without saying something. If this was working for you do you think I'll say a word against it.

Olivia looked to Alexia who just bowed her head, couldn't watch the confrontation but agreeing with it. Olivia looked back to Abby who held her gaze.

"Liv you're frozen in time. You're holding your breath. You're a statue waiting for something that's never going to happen. Living for stolen moments in hotels, you keep telling yourself they all add up to something real, because in your mind they have to, but they don't. They won't. They never will.  
Because stolen moments aren't a life. So you have nothing. You have no one".

Olivia gasps but shows no other emotion. The air is electric, maybe because they know this could make or break them. This might drive a wedge between them which cannot be filled again.

"Olivia, what happened to your proposals for a new department. Did you present it? No. You are frozen. This" pointing to Alexia and herself "is not judging you Livvie. This is just loving our brilliant sister and friend who deserves better. If this is what you want we'll still be here for you, with you always. But we can't be silent all the time, you would hate us if we did that".

Everyone stayed silent for what seemed like half an hour but was really a minute and a half.

"So how big was his dick then" Abby asked.

They looked at each other and laughed at the change of subject and its absurdness.

"Have you seen how I walk"

"Oh my god" Alexia squealed. "Tell me more. I miss my husband's dick". Her husband was on a business trip and left 2 days ago".

"Alexia, your husband is away for 3 days! 3 days!"

"Girl, I have needs, when you are used to it daily, 3 days is starvation."

Until they left Olivia, they only covered subjects that made them laugh. Nothing serious came up and their friendship was back on an even keel.

Monday

First thing Olivia did was request an audience with Sally, once she had an appointment on calendar she called her team and told them to prepare for the presentation. Quinn and Harrison sat opposite her at her desk. The proposal they all thought would catapult them into higher management in the company was finally going to get some airtime. They both didn't know what brought this on after a year on the shelf but they were definitely not complaining.

"Guys, we worked on that proposal over a year ago, we need to review and fine-tune it".

"My thoughts exactly. Quinn check the data and bring it up to date, Harrison update the financial projections using the data and I'll research the current rivals, We have a week and then we work on the actual presentation for the 2 days before the appointment. This will mean working late and our day job not suffering".

"This is good Olivia, we might have our own department. We can do this! We are not bitch babies. We can pull all the all-nighters necessary. This is goooooood. Team handshake people".

"Harry, we don't have a team handshake". Quinn answered already getting up to leave.

"We need one" turning to Olivia "we need one" and he left the room closing the door behind.

The door opened again and without looking up Olivia said, "Harrison, I don't need a secret handshake lesson now".

"Secret handshake, how intriguing" came a baritone voice she could never forget.

Her head snapped up to see Fitz standing in her doorway, his deep blue eyes so easily readable for her, drawing her into his pain. She looked away to avoid sinking into his orbs and his world again.

"Can I help you Mr Grant"

"See me in the conference room in 10 and bring the Anderson file".

"Sally would be best to answer your questions" she counters.

"Are you refusing to attend the meeting?". Olivia could see some of the people around her office were now curious and trying to listen.

"I'll see you in 10 minutes".

When she turned up to the meeting, Sally was already there which threw her for a minute but quickly recovered. There were legitimate questions about the project but she able to convince them of her new direction and the reasons. Once Fitz acknowledged it was a good plan, he asked her to ensure Anderson were aware of the new direction to avoid miscommunication.

"Thank you Sally for the excellent work of your department". Getting up to shake her hand as she started to leave. "Ms Pope may I have a quick word". She was trapped, she couldn't say no in front of Sally so she sat back down.

He sat back down and stared at her, his eyes hungrily drinking her in. She looked away until she heard the door shut behind Sally.

"Livvie, I'm sorry. It wasn't planned. I didn't know the date of the play until that morning. I tried to let him down but he so upset. He's only five".

"Fitz I don't want you to choose between your children and I. It shouldn't be that way. I was looking forward to seeing you but it wasn't meant to be". Her gaze held his and she could see his agony.

"I can't do this anymore".

"Don't Livvie" his face contorting into pain she wished to ease. She looked away again before she raced over to him, torn between her need to move forward and her feelings for him.

"I'm frozen Fitz. I live with a box full of hotel cards of all the rooms we have stayed in, you live with your wife and kids. Did you know I had a plan to create a new department here? I didn't bring it forward because I didn't want to you to think I was using our relationship. I really have nothing except sneaking time with you. I am not pursing my career or a relationship. Fitz I am frozen in time and I want to live".

"I love you Livvie. I can't breathe without you. I've been here since early Saturday and I haven't done anything just waiting for you. Watching for you. Calling your phone which was going straight to voicemail. I saw you this morning and everything seemed right again. I can't live without you".

"Fitz" she whispered and walked over to him. She took his hand and planted something in his palm folding his fingers over the object.

"I loved you Fitz but I have to live" and she left, her eyes full of tears.

Fitz opens his hand to find his grandmother's ring, he has to sit down as his legs are too shaky to hold him up. Olivia goes into the ladies' room and locks herself in a stall. She covers her mouth to stifle her cries as her shoulder shakes from her loss.

Across town a few days later

The apartment was cloaked in darkness except for the streetlight teasing in some brightness, just enough to make out the sharp edges of the furniture. It was very quiet apart from the occasional sounds of liquid sloshing in a bottle. Jake cut a lonely figure sitting on the floor with his back against the wall. Even in his slightly inebriated state, he was still the naval officer with his eyes on all exits. He swigged the bottle back to his mouth and drank. Even though it burnt his throat he took a long one. His mind wouldn't stop racing but his thoughts were all jumbled up. He wanted to feel numb and he succeeded everywhere except his mind.

Flashback - Two weeks earlier before he met Olivia

Jake walks into Mike's officer. "You wanted to see me?" Mike was a retired general with a dubious history. He was in charge of a warship during the 1st Iraq War and was the second in command for the war effort in Bosnia. Although it was a peace keeping mission, he meted out justice as he saw fit. He does not believe in any system, as he always says "whoever creates the system owns the system". He doesn't believe there is a level playing field. A cynical and ruthless operator who never found it easy to follow orders of what he called lily-livered politician who never fought a real battle in their lives but always keen to send people children to do their dirty work mostly for their profit. He left the navy to start a defence contracting business and was on track to turnover $500m. He had achieved this by all means necessary. While his private army was the bulk of his work, the smaller and most lucrative work was intelligence. He had spies everywhere through intimidation, blackmail and bribery. And Jake was at the heart of intelligence gathering, a highly trusted member of his inner circle.

"Shut the door and sit down" Mike said without looking up. Jake sat and watched Mike rifling through his desk drawer. At first sight, it is obvious Mike is a military man. In spite of the beer belly straining his shirt, Mike looks very fit and strong. Jake can be patient and is comfortable waiting. He knows the old man plays this games to destabilise people giving him the edge. Mike continues for another 5 minutes and brings out a folder with a smile, tossing across the desk to Jake. He opens and starts looking through. First up is a picture of a young woman, early 20s, blond straight hair staring at the camera.

"New case" Mike stares back, still playing his games.

"Is this guy seriously expecting me to beg for more information" he ponders, so the waiting game continues.

Mike sighs "Everything you need to know about her is in the file. Russian oligarch's daughter, due in New York in one month. We need access to Russian intelligence, this is your way in".

"And the mission?" he asks. He patiently looks through the file for any information to what he is meant to retrieve from the girl but it contains information on her favourite haunts, friends, likes and dislikes.

"Marry her"

"Marry her?" he asks

"Yes, we need direct line into Kremlin. Her father is a close ally of Putin. But that's not the main thing, her brother has been promoted on the FSB. He runs counter-intelligence arm and we need access to that. He talks to his sister every day and she lives with him whenever she's in Moscow. Will that be a problem?" daring him to question is mission.

"No" Jake said getting up. As he opens the door Mike adds, "Charlie is your assist on this mission".

Although he doesn't break his strides, he knew that was the beginning of the end of him in Mike's organisation. Charlie was Mike's watchdog. Wherever Charlie went mayhem followed. If Charlie was his assist, then Mike suspected he was going to be a problem and was ready to eliminate him.

End of flashback

"Maybe I need a shrink" he nearly laughed at that. What exactly could he say to a shrink. The secret missions that made him numb, his early life that he has tried to erase from his memory sometimes he's not sure where reality and fiction starts and ends. If he sought that type of help he would have to kill them after talking. He laughed out loud at that but it sounded more like a growl.

He has tried to forget Olivia but that was proving very difficult. Sometimes he could swear he was hearing her moaning in his ears as he lay in bed. He had to let Angelique go, how could you sleep with someone if all you thought about was someone else. Angelique didn't deserve that and although they were not in a traditional relationship, they had tacitly agreed to be faithful. He knew she wanted more and he had given her the idea he was interested. But that was before Olivia. Everything has changed after Olivia. He wasn't even sure if she had gone back to her lover and whether she was interested beyond that day. However, he could acknowledge the fact that he was interested in her and felt something more for her than he has felt for any woman.

How could he marry someone else even for a job when just the thought of Olivia made him think beyond his job. It made him think of suburbia and kids playing in the back while he sneaked kisses with Olivia around the house. Maybe he was pussy whipped and he didn't even know. She didn't even know it either. He laughed at the ludicrousness of his situation. Thinking of her brought her picture to mind, especially how she looked at him when she was in the throes of their lovemaking. Another bitter laugh escaped his mouth, obviously he wasnt numb all over, another part of his anatomy was leaping in excitement.

Not a cliffhanger but more soon.

Thanks for reading, let me know what you think


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